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About UsAdvertiseInvestor RelationsJobsNewslettersEditionUSUKAustraliaBrasilCanadaDeutschlandIndiaJapanLatamCalifornia residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data.Do Not Sell My Personal Information © 2022 BuzzFeed, Inc PressRSSPrivacyConsent PreferencesUser TermsAccessibility StatementAd ChoicesHelpContactSitemapBuzzFeed NewsReporting on what you care about. We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing.BuzzFeed TastySearch, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place!BuzzFeed GoodfulSelf care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life.BuzzFeed Bring MeObsessed with travel? Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me!BuzzFeed As IsSomething for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity.Celebrity·Posted 7 minutes agoConstance Wu Opened Up About Her Attempted Suicide And How She Felt Betrayed By The Asian American Community
"I read these DMs from an Asian actress, somebody who should have been my ally," Constance said. "And I felt like nothing I could ever do would be enough. I felt like the only thing that would prove to her that I felt as bad as she thought I deserved to feel would be if I died."
by Morgan SlossBuzzFeed Staff
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Note: this post discusses suicide and sexual harassment.
On a new episode of Red Table Talk, Constance Wu opened up about her attempted suicide for the first time.
Frazer Harrison / Getty Images
Back in 2019, the actor was frustrated when Fresh Off the Boat – the show she starred in – was renewed for a sixth season. The actor tweeted, "So upset right now that I'm literally crying. Ugh. Fuck."
Facebook Watch / Via Facebook: redtabletalk
During this episode of RTT, Constance explained what led to those "careless tweets." She said a producer of the show had sexually harassed her during the earlier seasons, and she wanted a "clean slate that didn't hold so many memories of intimidation and fear." Additionally, the renewal meant she would have to give up other projects she was looking forward to.
Constance faced intense backlash for the tweets. A former colleague messaged her, writing, "Nothing you could ever do would make up for your atrocious behavior and disgusting ingratitude. You sullied the one shining beacon of hope for Asian Americans. You've become a blight on the Asian American community."
Facebook Watch / Via Facebook: redtabletalk
"I read these DMs from an Asian actress, somebody who should have been my ally," Constance said. "And I felt like nothing I could ever do would be enough. I felt like the only thing that would prove to her that I felt as bad as she thought I deserved to feel would be if I died."
Facebook Watch / Via Facebook: redtabletalk
"I felt like even that might not be enough because I felt like the world was saying, 'You will never suffer as much as you deserve to suffer. You deserve to pay for this and be punished for this.'"
Facebook Watch / Via Facebook: redtabletalk
Constance shared that she ended up on the railing of the fifth-story balcony of her apartment, looking down at the streets of NYC. "A friend who had come to check on me pulled me over from climbing over the ledge and dragged me into the elevator and took me into a cab and took me to a psychiatric emergency room."
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"They checked me in, and I slept the night on a cot in the waiting room in a psychiatric ER in New York City, under observation."
After the incident, Constance spoke to a psychiatrist and psychologist in therapy daily. "I needed it. I was unsafe at that point," she said. "I was in a mental place of just beating myself up and so much shame. Feeling like I didn't deserve to live, feeling like the world hated me, feeling like I'd ruined everything for everyone. And maybe I did for some people, but people make mistakes, right?"
Facebook Watch / Via Facebook: redtabletalk
The 40-year-old recalled how she was treated by the Coalition of Asian Pacifics in Entertainment just months after her attempted suicide. The organization wanted her to attend a gala where they would celebrate Fresh Off the Boat, but she declined because she didn't want to distract from the other actors and wasn't ready to be mocked for her tweets. CAPE insisted there would only be "warm energy" and "positive vibes," so she agreed to go.
Axelle / FilmMagic / Getty Images
"They sat me in the front row and had all these cameras on me, and within 10 minutes, the host of the show made a crack at me. And I was sitting there alone, trying not to cry in a public setting. And the whole audience was like, 'Ohh, shit.' They had promised they wouldn't mock me, and they did it right off the bat. It almost felt like they were setting me up for it. It truly felt like a betrayal from the Asian American community," she said as she wiped away tears.
Facebook Watch / Via Facebook: redtabletalk
You can watch the full episode of Red Table Talk here.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-888-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.
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