Having grandparents in your child’s life can be a major boon to the whole family—in addition to the attention, love, and free childcare they provide, having involved grandparents can help new parents navigate the often-difficult task of raising children. However, that doesn’t mean that every interaction between parents and grandparents is a peaceful one.
“When grandkids make their appearance, it is all fun and games—for the grandparents, that is! Sometimes it can be hard for parents and grandparents to navigate situations together because their thought processes and goals on regarding the kid is very different,” says life coach and licensed mental health counselor Dr. Jaime Kulaga, Ph.D. “Once you become a grandparent, the situation has now shifted to where you can fully enjoy the child without as many responsibilities and the chaos you once had when you were raising your children. The relationship is often all about having fun, ‘being the good guy,’ and filling the child up with goodies and then sending them back home to mom.”
And while having an adult who will ply you with toys and treats may seem like a dream come true to kids, it’s not always so well-received by parents. If you want to stay on the right side of your grandchild’s parents, it’s time commit these common offenses to memory—and avoid them at all costs.
1 Give kids unlimited treats.
Grandma and grandpa tend to be more than just occasional babysitters: for many kids, they’re practically a one-stop shop for all things sugary, fried, or otherwise terrible for you. Much to many parents’ dismay, grandparents are a never-ending fount of treats, despite everyone else’s best efforts to make them understand that no pediatrician in the world has ever recommended daily ice cream.
“Once a parent becomes a grandparent, their role changes. They are no longer in the ‘parenting’ role but more of a role of fun and cuddles with less expectations. Grandparenting is not about how many times you can tell Johnny to eat his broccoli for nutritional purposes, but rather letting Johnny have fun picking out any candy he wants at the store and letting him eat it before dinner,” says Dr. Kulaga.