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About UsAdvertiseInvestor RelationsJobsNewslettersEditionUSUKAustraliaBrasilCanadaDeutschlandIndiaJapanLatamCalifornia residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data.Do Not Sell My Personal Information © 2021 BuzzFeed, Inc PressRSSPrivacyConsent PreferencesUser TermsAccessibility StatementAd ChoicesHelpContactSitemapBuzzFeed NewsReporting on what you care about. We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing.BuzzFeed TastySearch, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place!BuzzFeed GoodfulSelf care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life.BuzzFeed Bring MeObsessed with travel? Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me!BuzzFeed As IsSomething for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity.Celebrity·Posted 25 minutes ago29 Times B.J. Novak Was Ridiculously Funny On Twitter
It's impossible not to read these tweets in his voice.
by Mike SpohrBuzzFeed Staff
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You know B.J. Novak — he was, of course, Ryan on The Office (when he wasn't writing for the show), but also wrote the hit children's book The Book with No Pictures and created the current FX on Hulu show The Premise.
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NBC
And you may have recently seen that wild story about how a photo of B.J. was accidentally deemed public domain, and brands overseas started putting his face on random products, lol.
@bjnovak / Via Instagram: @https://www.instagram.com/stories/bjnovak/2692493056698770293/?hl=en
Well, when B.J. isn't doing all of that, he's on Twitter where he's known to be A) really funny, and B) maybe a little snarky. Here are some of his best tweets:
1.
B.J. Novak @bjnovak“Did you unsubscribe by accident?” Just take the L
07:30 AM - 13 Mar 2021
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
2.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakMy dad, a Canadian: “I can’t believe Americans turned a single meal into a five day holiday”
03:35 AM - 28 Nov 2019
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
3.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakYes, based on the first paragraph of this article I clicked, I believe I shall subscribe to this publication
03:04 PM - 26 Nov 2019
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
4.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakIf you give me food in a container you will never get the container back, I don’t care if it is diamond encrusted Tupperware that has been in your family for generations
10:09 PM - 25 Jul 2021
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
5.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakMy phone can hold twenty hours of podcasts I forgot to erase but apparently not more than about six voicemails at the same time
04:39 AM - 04 Dec 2018
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
6.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakLove Valentine’s Day, love New Year’s Eve, love taking the SATs, just love high pressure situations and extreme expectations in general
02:58 AM - 14 Feb 2018
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
7.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakIf you want two men to have a heart to heart just put a microphone in front of them and tell them it’s a podcast
03:07 AM - 23 Aug 2021
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
8.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakDon’t you love when the other person checks their phone and you’re like “don’t mind if I do”
02:03 AM - 18 Feb 2018
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
9.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakSun Chips should have Vitamin D.
That’s all I have to contribute to the world today
06:31 PM - 19 Mar 2018
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
10.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakMy Delta flight is less than an hour which I believe means there will be a single unbroken stream of announcements
03:18 PM - 26 Nov 2019
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
11.
B.J. Novak @bjnovak“Welcome to our house. Here are the four nearly identical giant remote controls for the TV. This one has the power button, this one changes channels, this one is for volume, and this one we don’t know what it does”
05:00 PM - 14 Jul 2018
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
12.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakDogs should judge the dog show
05:18 PM - 23 Nov 2017
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
13.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakPlastic straws are wasteful. Paper straws are, too. Aluminum straws are expensive. But I know this much: we need some sort of tubing system
07:15 PM - 30 Jun 2018
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
14.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakI will watch Squid Game when I watch Squid Game
05:44 PM - 03 Oct 2021
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
15.
B.J. Novak @bjnovak“I won’t tell you their name, but it rhymes with…” - has this ever been used sincerely, as a real attempt to protect someone’s privacy? If so, that’s an odd choice
06:16 PM - 21 Jun 2021
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
16.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakI am sad to announce that my online fishing supply store, https://t.co/LJnA17JAeM, will be closing down after months of confusion and low sales
04:12 PM - 24 Nov 2017
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
17.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakI want a feature on my phone that tells me the last time I touched it so I can know how much sleep I got
12:58 PM - 28 Jul 2021
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
18.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakI've decided to give up drinking for the rest of the night
04:46 AM - 03 Sep 2017
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
19.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakIt felt wonderful to be asked “how are you feeling?” this morning before I realized this was our production’s COVID coordinator and this was mandatory question
05:54 PM - 28 May 2021
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
20.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakWhy is “coffeehouse” music so soft & gentle? Shouldn’t it be trying to get you AMPED
07:30 PM - 04 Feb 2019
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
21.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakNot to go all Kanye, but: pepper doesn’t deserve to be on every restaurant table next to salt
06:27 PM - 25 Apr 2018
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
22.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakDo you ever break a plate at a restaurant just because you need applause
06:54 AM - 07 Oct 2018
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
23.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakRemember to wash your hands with soap and water for twenty seconds. And, before biting an apple, rub it briefly on the shirt you’ve been wearing all day
04:54 AM - 05 May 2021
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
24.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakSiri is a misinformation campaign to make us not afraid of artificial intelligence because it is so staggeringly incompetent
09:57 PM - 15 Dec 2020
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
25.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakKids: skip your summer reading. No one is going to check. Read whatever you want
05:06 PM - 27 May 2018
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
26.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakI’m on my phone 16 hours a day? Great, that means I’m getting a solid 8 hours sleep
02:39 AM - 02 May 2020
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
27.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakDentists are obsessed with teeth
08:05 PM - 05 Dec 2019
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
28.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakThe world may not revolve around you, but the moon does
06:26 PM - 27 Aug 2019
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
29.
B.J. Novak @bjnovakUm, this feels personal
11:06 PM - 17 Jan 2018
Reply Retweet FavoriteTwitter: @bjnovak
Very funny, B.J. — and I gotta say, I love how open you are about being as obsessed with your phone as we are!
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Keep sharing the funny tweets, my good man!
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