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29 Times B.J. Novak Was Ridiculously Funny On Twitter

It's impossible not to read these tweets in his voice.

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by Mike Spohr

BuzzFeed Staff

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You know B.J. Novak — he was, of course, Ryan on The Office (when he wasn't writing for the show), but also wrote the hit children's book The Book with No Pictures and created the current FX on Hulu show The Premise.

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And you may have recently seen that wild story about how a photo of B.J. was accidentally deemed public domain, and brands overseas started putting his face on random products, lol.

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@bjnovak / Via Instagram: @https://www.instagram.com/stories/bjnovak/2692493056698770293/?hl=en

Well, when B.J. isn't doing all of that, he's on Twitter where he's known to be A) really funny, and B) maybe a little snarky. Here are some of his best tweets:

1.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

“Did you unsubscribe by accident?” Just take the L

07:30 AM - 13 Mar 2021

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Twitter: @bjnovak

2.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

My dad, a Canadian: “I can’t believe Americans turned a single meal into a five day holiday”

03:35 AM - 28 Nov 2019

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Twitter: @bjnovak

3.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

Yes, based on the first paragraph of this article I clicked, I believe I shall subscribe to this publication

03:04 PM - 26 Nov 2019

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Twitter: @bjnovak

4.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

If you give me food in a container you will never get the container back, I don’t care if it is diamond encrusted Tupperware that has been in your family for generations

10:09 PM - 25 Jul 2021

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Twitter: @bjnovak

5.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

My phone can hold twenty hours of podcasts I forgot to erase but apparently not more than about six voicemails at the same time

04:39 AM - 04 Dec 2018

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Twitter: @bjnovak

6.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

Love Valentine’s Day, love New Year’s Eve, love taking the SATs, just love high pressure situations and extreme expectations in general

02:58 AM - 14 Feb 2018

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Twitter: @bjnovak

7.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

If you want two men to have a heart to heart just put a microphone in front of them and tell them it’s a podcast

03:07 AM - 23 Aug 2021

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Twitter: @bjnovak

8.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

Don’t you love when the other person checks their phone and you’re like “don’t mind if I do”

02:03 AM - 18 Feb 2018

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Twitter: @bjnovak

9.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

Sun Chips should have Vitamin D.

That’s all I have to contribute to the world today

06:31 PM - 19 Mar 2018

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Twitter: @bjnovak

10.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

My Delta flight is less than an hour which I believe means there will be a single unbroken stream of announcements

03:18 PM - 26 Nov 2019

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Twitter: @bjnovak

11.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

“Welcome to our house. Here are the four nearly identical giant remote controls for the TV. This one has the power button, this one changes channels, this one is for volume, and this one we don’t know what it does”

05:00 PM - 14 Jul 2018

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Twitter: @bjnovak

12.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

Dogs should judge the dog show

05:18 PM - 23 Nov 2017

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Twitter: @bjnovak

13.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

Plastic straws are wasteful. Paper straws are, too. Aluminum straws are expensive. But I know this much: we need some sort of tubing system

07:15 PM - 30 Jun 2018

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Twitter: @bjnovak

14.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

I will watch Squid Game when I watch Squid Game

05:44 PM - 03 Oct 2021

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Twitter: @bjnovak

15.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

“I won’t tell you their name, but it rhymes with…” - has this ever been used sincerely, as a real attempt to protect someone’s privacy? If so, that’s an odd choice

06:16 PM - 21 Jun 2021

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Twitter: @bjnovak

16.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

I am sad to announce that my online fishing supply store, https://t.co/LJnA17JAeM, will be closing down after months of confusion and low sales

04:12 PM - 24 Nov 2017

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Twitter: @bjnovak

17.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

I want a feature on my phone that tells me the last time I touched it so I can know how much sleep I got

12:58 PM - 28 Jul 2021

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Twitter: @bjnovak

18.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

I've decided to give up drinking for the rest of the night

04:46 AM - 03 Sep 2017

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Twitter: @bjnovak

19.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

It felt wonderful to be asked “how are you feeling?” this morning before I realized this was our production’s COVID coordinator and this was mandatory question

05:54 PM - 28 May 2021

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Twitter: @bjnovak

20.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

Why is “coffeehouse” music so soft & gentle? Shouldn’t it be trying to get you AMPED

07:30 PM - 04 Feb 2019

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Twitter: @bjnovak

21.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

Not to go all Kanye, but: pepper doesn’t deserve to be on every restaurant table next to salt

06:27 PM - 25 Apr 2018

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Twitter: @bjnovak

22.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

Do you ever break a plate at a restaurant just because you need applause

06:54 AM - 07 Oct 2018

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Twitter: @bjnovak

23.

B.J. Novak @bjnovak

Remember to wash your hands with soap and water for twenty seconds. And, before biting an apple, rub it briefly on the shirt you’ve been wearing all day

04:54 AM - 05 May 2021

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Twitter: @bjnovak